Wednesday, April 5, 2017

{coffee date no.6}

Well friends, it’s been a long time since I wrote a coffee date post. Truthfully, this one has been sitting in my queue for awhile and I’ve edited it multiple times. I took a nice blog break for a couple of months at the end of 2016 and that's when this blog post started to be written...

So let's do what we used to do - grab a cup of coffee (or tea) and let's have a chat, or in this coffee date post, a heart to heart.



There's been a lot of behind the scenes stuff going on. {Let's get real, there always is.} I hit a breaking point where I felt like I couldn’t be genuine with y’all. I had no motivation to put together new looks or share things that I was loving. I felt trapped by the blogging world and under a lot of pressure. I was fed up. So, I took a step back because it wasn’t what brought me joy every day.

Maybe I need to explain myself a little further… because I know many of you realized that August was when I started posting less frequently. August became a beautiful new beginning but also a heart breaking ending for me. I moved into a studio apartment in the city and then went through some tough personal things. I had no idea the ways it would become a true, start everything over, rewrite your future, fresh start. I’m not even sure how to put into words the emotions that the following Fall season became for me. Imagine living by yourself for the first time and dealing with heartbreak like you've never experienced before.

I took a month for myself - I wrote letters that I never sent and I made lists of things that I wanted for my future. I reached out to my friends and found the people that truly, deeply cared for me. Not the ones that simply reached out because they wanted to get the latest gossip. I worked so hard to find the things and people that made my life happy. I learned to “fly” – a girl friend taught me this saying a while ago, it means, “first love yourself”. I took this to heart. I listened to what I needed to be okay; I took time to grieve, to cry, to feel, and to eventually heal. I found the things that I liked about myself and I worked on the things I didn’t like about myself.  I told myself every morning and night: a person who values you, would never put themselves in a position to lose you. I listened to that – really hard. I felt that phrase in so many aspects of my life. It made my healing process so much more clarifying.

Once August was over I decided that I needed to get back to blogging to help me find my normal routine and happiness again. But this had already changed. My whole life routine was altered so I scrambled a bit figuring it out. I posted here and there but it wasn’t with the same zest for blogging that I normally had… so I simply stopped. I just didn’t hit publish. I didn’t plan shoots. I didn’t browse tirelessly on websites to find the latest and greatest. Instead, I went out and found inspiration and love in the world. This was when life got really wonderful - when I allowed myself to let other people in and I started focusing on this new chapter of my life. I said yes to things I had always wanted to do and I listened to my heart. Then I began not blogging as much because I was learning to love my life again!

I’ve struggled with posting this because I attempt to keep my personal life private while still showing you that I’m a real person (and I know I can be vague at times). That’s why I started these Coffee Date posts, because it’s always fun and interesting to learn more about the girl behind the blog… so I felt that to let my guard down and continue on a good note it was time to hit publish {mainly because I've been getting lots of messages and comments haha}.

This blog isn’t my full time job. It started out as a hobby and grew into a business. The biggest strength behind Southern Anchors was my passion for it and I saw it suffer when that fire behind the blog started to fade a little (that fire in me). I always want to show y’all the best outfits and the most unique finds but that requires me to be at my best and in my happiest state – mainly because this little website takes a heck of a lot of work!! Hours and hours to plan, shoot, write, email, link, edit, craft, and post. You know the drill. I began comparing my life to others and felt that I just wasn't good enough for anyone. I wasn't pretty enough, didn't make enough money, didn't love enough, yada yada... enough!!!

Then something changed. I found the most perfect moment of bliss and I felt inspired again. The world around me influences my thoughts and actions tremendously – and the people in my life bring me so much joy and inspiration. I have people in my life right now that are making me laugh again and feel things I didn’t think I could feel again. I am just simply happy, so incredibly happy. My new routine has become a source of strength for me. I work long, hard hours at work and then get out to see my friends and loved ones. In regards to blogging, I actually want to carve a couple of hours out of my weekend to do a shoot with friends, or to tidy up my apartment, take photos, and teach myself some new things. I found that passion and love again for life.

So I’m back. Still learning, still working on myself, but moving forward! I probably don’t say it enough but thank you for supporting me, coming back to read this blog even without new content, emailing me with your questions, and checking in on me. I love communicating with y’all through snapchat and IG stories and seeing you comment on my photos made me feel like I wasn’t a total blogger failure. Thank you for making this blogging journey continue!!

So if you've read this far you're probably thinking: "okay cool, you're clearly back to blogging and this all started in August so WHY post about this now?" Why? Because last week I was browsing through some of my favorite blogs and realized that everything seemed so damn cookie cutter perfect. That bothered me. Every blogger was already tan, rocking bikinis, taking vacations, buying new things, getting engaged, having perfect babies, etc. and I found myself playing the am I enough? game again. I went down that dark comparison spiral and questioned my job, relationship, and decisions. I had to remind myself of everything that I have going for me right now. Truth be told, EVERYONE needs that reminder. So this is me breaking up the cookie cutter blog post - reminding you that you're enough and you're human and you'll get over whatever difficult thing you're dealing with right now. I'm not an inspirational coach so I'll leave it at that. You do YOU, girl ;)

Okay, now I'm taking a deep breath... I think my queue is happy to get this post out of the cobwebs! Thank you for reading this lengthy coffee date – I know the next one will be a lot more fun ;)

Since I always like to end on a good note... I've linked some of my recent finds below!





I would love to hear what you want to see in the future. More outfits? Home content? Personal posts? Please shoot me an email or leave a comment below!


Love Always,

14 comments:

  1. So glad you hit publish, friend. Love you!!

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  2. LOVED this post lady! Glad you were able to get out of your funk! Love the community here that supports one another through good times and bad!
    xo elle // https://splashofpreppy.com

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  3. Such a great post, you hit home on so many things for me personally (and I imagine so many other people). Keep doing you!
    XO!
    Stephanie
    http://asparkleinthesuburbs.blogspot.com/

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  4. Thank you so much for writing this post & sharing a part of yourself with us. This really resonated with me. Keep doing you girl, you're killing it :)

    xo,
    Kasia
    ampersandblog.net

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  5. Welcome back my love!! So glad you finally hit publish, and appreciate your honesty. Always here for you online and off ;) xoxo

    K

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  6. Thank you so much for this post. I'm currently struggling with this myself: about to finish grad school with no job in sight, relationship on the rocks, living alone. It seems like great things are happening to everyone around me and I find myself asking, "Am I enough?" and becoming very bitter about it. And it sucks, because that's not who I am! I read this and teared up more than once. Definitely going to try some "fly" today :) I'm so happy you are in a great place now and look forward to your future posts <3

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  7. thank you for this honest post. i haven't blogged in ages, i am just not inspired, and i think it's no longer authentic. i see these people with their vacation posts, and i'm like i've got one i've gone on, ones coming up and ones i'm planning, but i still get jealous. then i feel like i need to blog to tell people about all my plans, but what a sad motivation that is, right, if that's all it is?
    b

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  8. You're amazing friend, and I am so proud of you!! You put this out there and it's real and raw and so true to what so many people have and will go through! So grateful to call you my sweet friends and totally fly or die :) xx

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  9. I am over here smiling ear to ear and clapping for you for posting this!! I am so incredibly proud to have you as a friend, both online & off! You are such a strong person and you've been able to get through a lot! Life is never perfect, nor is it easy but with good friends and a good outlook anything can be made better! I say that because I've also been through some extremely hard time and you have had a hand in making them not so bad! I am LOVING this season of life you're in and I'm so excited to see what's to come for you in your job, your personal life, relationship & in our friendship!!

    Love you friend! Thanks for breaking the mold ;) xoxo

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  10. Love this raw, real post friend! Thank you for having the courage to hit 'publish' as I know it can be kind of scary. I have a feeling 2017 is going to be your best year yet :)

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  11. Welcome back lady! I enjoyed reading this post so much, mostly because I have a version of it in my head that I am wary to get out into actual words. You may have just inspired me to do it!

    xox
    Emily
    http://thestylehuntblog.com

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  12. I never comment on blogs but thank you for posting this. I have also gone through a huge change in my person life where I also suffered heart breaking changes and I am finally finding myself to be getting over and truly being alright with life and genuinely at peace and happy again. This post makes you seem so much more relatable and I appreciate you opening up. Thank you. I'd love for unique outfit posts and personal stuff that goes beyond the cookie cutter posts I'm seeing everywhere else. Have a nice day!

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  13. Props to you for being honest and posting this! I've followed along for awhile now, and did notice a drop off. I'm sorry to hear you were going through such a tough time. As a fellow DC girl who is currently developing a blog (and hoping to launch soon), I've felt some similar feelings of not being "good enough". I truly think that everyone experiences negative thoughts like that, though, and it's more about how you handle the thoughts (e.g. "Dang straight, I AM good enough!") versus the thoughts themselves. I'll send positive vibes your way!

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